Having an invisible illness is a strange thing – the way I feel on the inside and the way I look on the outside couldn’t be more different.
Looking at myself in photos now is an oddly jarring experience. I desperately fight my way through each day, wading through deep treacle barely keeping my head above the surface. I must look completely awful, my face and body showing just how shattered I feel.
And then I see a photo of myself from that day and I look..normal.
In a way it’s great that what’s happening inside doesn’t always show, but sometimes I wish it did. Maybe people would be a bit more understanding, sympathetic, and there’d be less of the ‘You really don’t look sick at all’ type of comments.
I know people mean well when they say those things, but it always feels a bit undermining. My body is fighting a war with itself – what difference does it make if I don’t look sick? I guess it makes it easier for them if they can’t see what’s happening.
My referral to meet with a surgeon (set for mid-June) arrived in the mail today – I have a lot of soul searching to do before then, because I’m still convinced I don’t want to go down that path…
I’ve tried a bunch of different diets since being diagnosed with UC 4 years ago, and so far I’ve had little luck. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet was the most promising initially, but after 2 months my symptoms hadn’t improved much (if at all) so I… Read More
I often wonder how long I’ve had this disease. I was diagnosed in 2010, but there’s no doubt I had it for some time before that. A few months before? Definitely. I spent 6 months prior to diagnosis training for my first marathon through which… Read More
Err..or my kryptonite, or something.
Blackcurrant juice, boysenberries, Greek yogurt, organic New Zealand honey, frozen banana, lemon juice. Yes.
Wowzers – so apparently last week’s intro sessions were light and breezy. On Monday night we got hit hard, and it took me right back to what I remembered as a Karate-going kid. Relentless stances, up, down, up, down…my knees are getting too old for… Read More
I’ve lost track of the ‘health phases’ I’ve gone through since being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis back in 2010. I’ve tried to feel better by running, or playing different sports, or changing diets (I’ve had a couple of good shots at the SCD…). The problem… Read More